***My daughter, Mikayla, has taken over my blog today to give me a much needed day off…I was a bit scared when she was okay with doing this…***
Hello inferior life forms!
This is the almighty Mikayla, daughter of Heather Harris. Mom asked me to write a post for her blog, She said I could write anything I wished. My mom’s blog is, as you might know, all about teaching you how to be just like her, in the self sufficient way of course… she’s not at all slowly turning you into a homemaking, harrisheather worshiping zombie army!…
And as your reading her blog you might wonder what goes on behind those pretty pictures of jars filled with everything organic and grass-fed, and her witty posts about how you to can make you very own jars filled with every thing organic and grass-fed! Well I’m going to enlighten you!
When ever you have read a post about a dish she has made, that has been a dinner that Mom has stopped us in the middle of eating it! And declared “This is soooo a blog post!”, got out her camera, rearranged the food so you can’t see the part we’ve already chewed on and snapped a photo. Only after she’s happy with the picture can we go back to eating.
The pictures of chickens on her blog were so fun to get! NOT!! To do this we have to chase a chicken around the yard for about 20 minutes until it gets bored of our little game of cat and mouse, and lets us catch her. We then bring in the cranky, smelly bird into the dinning room stand it up on the table. (yes, the table we sometimes eat on!) and “pose” her until we get the perfect pic. All the while the bird is making very rude comments in Chickenese!
Canning is a blast too! The kitchen gets to a balmy one million degrees, which is so refreshing while we run countless jars up from the dungeon. (Dungeon is the nickname we gave the basement because of it’s uncanny resemblance to a mideval dungeon).
Preparing the food to be canned is a lot of work too. If it’s corn, we sit on the porch shucking what feels like 100 burlap bags of corn, while our neighbors watch with amusement. And I’ll never forget Mom’s first year at the produce auction.
She bought enough green beans to feed a medium size third world country! And we; meaning Myself, Nicholas, Aaron, and any of our friends who came over at the time, had to snap the ends off of each and every one of them! I snapped so many my hands turned green!
And gardening, oh gardening… When ever mom or dad so much as utters the word my brothers and I run and hide before they decide to put us to work! It almost never works though, and while gardening I imagine I am a Hebrew slave working for a Hysko pharoh. (I say Hysko because when I was obsessed with ancient Egypt I found out that the pharoh at the time of Moses was not Egyptian at all! But in fact part of a group of people known as Hyskos who invaded and took over Egypt just before they inslaved the Hebrews. And I am very OCD about historical acurcy!)
As your reading her blog you might think to your self “Gosh! She must know everything!” Actually, it takes at least three tries before shes happy with the results and can then proceed to blog about it! Like movies, the final product is not everything.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this insight into the harsh, cold reality behind the glamour of the blog.